Talk about a mess..

Man..where to even begin!?
Kentucky has definitely been hit with winter, just a tad late if you ask me. Starting on Monday night we were hit with an ice and snow storm. Thankfully school was closed but I did end up going to work that day for a few hours. I had to drive Kayla's car because mine had about an inch and a half thick sheet of ice that would not budge for nothing. Her car isn't might better than mine and so when I headed to work...it just wasn't fun at all. The roads had not been cleaned in the neighborhood so I was sliding everywhere, which was not very fun. So I got to work and had to do about 30 mph on 65 south. The parking lot was not cleaned at the school so that was interesting to pull in and out of to say the least. So made it home perfectly fine, praise the Lord, and read. I finally finished reading CrazyLove and man was it awesome! It has really encouraged me to reevaluate the way I treat people and how I act.
So...early Wednesday morning, around 2:11, our power was knocked out. All throughout the night trees in the backyard kept breaking and I was paranoid one was going to fall on our pool. The only damage we really had was that a tree limb pierced through the roof of the barn a good 4 feet into it and probably another 4 feet is hanging out...not cool. So, out power was out all day yesterday. We didn't really do much of anything except read, play cards, and yeah that's it..ha. Dad, Kayla, and I tried to shovel the driveway but by that time it was getting late and mom had come home with dinner. We had to stay the night at my aunts house because she had power and we definitely needed to heat up, especially mamaw. We woke up this morning and mamaw took us all out to Crackle Barrel and it was awesome! I've honestly never had Crackle Barrel for breakfast and it was just nice to have a home cooked meal. Once we got home our power and been restored, thank the Lord. So we were without power in my house for a good 26 hours or so.

But for something more exciting for me to write about, what God has shown me. I really take my life for granted and only serve God when I want to...I use the excuse that I'm waiting for God to call me too much. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a bad thing to follow God's call but I do think it's bad that when we are commanded to serve God and yet don't because we want Him to all us to do it. Something that has really plagued my heart is missions. I've always had a heart for missions and such a respect for people who are involved with foreign and local missions. I have never felt that I am equipped whatsoever to do missions but ever since Arizona, God has really grown my interest in it even more. It seems like everyday somebody that I talk to brings it up or I come across an article or book about a missionary. I feel that it is my duty to do what I can now to share the gospel in every situation that I am in, whether that be through my actions, my speech, the way I dress (modesty), and even in the way I handle things. All Christians are called to do that and I have slacked off for too long!!! I'm sick of that and I'm ready to change!
Something I'm also realizing that is wrong: praying for my safety. I pray for my safety when I leave to go somewhere just so that I can have more time on earth...and not to serve God longer, but to be able to do the things I want to be doing!!! I had convinced myself that it was okay that I was doing this because I would always say, "Father, if it be Your will". I was doing that the other morning when I was leaving for work and it was just like God reached down and slapped me in the face!! How dare I to basically ask God to reconsider His will for my life. Would I really be angry with God if He has predestined my life for me to be paralyzed or have some other injuries from a car accident?! It would all because He didn't give me safety on that ride to wherever! It just disgusts me to think of how I really do question God's sovereignty with the things I do in my life. I look past the little things to much and I'm over it!

Father, I ask that you consume me...allow me to be the light in the darkness Father, and salt in a wound to those who need you! I want to follow you and only you. I'm tired of serving you only when it fits in to my schedule. I'm ready to serve you here, now and anywhere You lead me to. Help me to make the most of every opportunity and not to take this life for granted. I ask that you would make me not so selfish and to be more humble. Point out the things in my life that cause me to stumble. Allow me to have a quite heart and to watch my temper. Thank you for your grace and for the work you have done in my life, Father...

Oh boy!

All I have to say is that God is awesome.

Father, I just want to thank you for your grace and your judgment. I thank you for the change you have made in my life and the changes you are continuing to make in me daily. I ask that you would allow me to continue to look to you for wisdom and direction for my life. I also ask that you would let me continue to yearn for you, God. I want to be filled with you and to be made into the image of you, Father. Thank you for the struggles and opportunities you place me in each day. If it be your will, I ask that you would continue to send me the struggles and opportunities and that only you would receive the glory.

Hip-Hip-Hooray!!!!

Wes and Martha Kimble have been officially and unanimously voted to be our youth ministers. I count it such a blessing to have been able to spend the time with them that the Lord has allowed. They are just an awesome couple to just hang out with and talk to. You can tell just from the way they talk that they truly do love God and want the youth to be that passionate and in love with Christ.

I truly believe that God is going to use them at Bullitt Lick to do mighty things for His kingdom. They have been such an encouragement to me and I know they will be for the other youth. Their passion for youth is so evident and I'm soooo excited to call Wes my youth pastor and Martha the youth pastors wife that I'm continuing to grow close to.

Now, Martha has definitely made an impact on my life. Being able to just spend those times just talking and learning more about each other have been so awesome. I am so thankful that God has led her into my life because she truly is such a blessing to me.

I look forward to continuing the fellowship that God has so graciously allowed us to spend together thus far.

Father, I pray that you would use Wes and Martha for Your Will and Yours alone. I thank you for the encouragement that they have been to me and to others. I pray that you would be the soul focus of the youth ministry and the direction that is will go in and the focus of all our lives.

Grounded...

Yep, that's right. I'm grounded.

Friday night I went to a bonfire at our new possible youth ministers house. I had a blast. It was so nice just getting together to fellowship and worship our wonderful and awesome creator. Well time passed fast and it got to be about 10ish? and Martha, Cathy, and I decided to start cleaning things up. After we were finished with this I planned on leaving but we started to talk and laugh. Around 11 the Travis's left and I only planned to stay for another hour. Martha, Wes, Josh, Kyle, and I sat in the living room just talking about different things. It is so nice just getting to have opportunities like that because I never have them, honestly. Well time began to pass even more quickly and by the time I looked at my phone it was 1 something. I felt just my stomach drop because I knew even at this time I would probably get yelled at but then I rethought it because I didn't think my parents would really care because I was at someones house from the church...boy was I wrong. Well after that we started to share our testimonies. Man that was awesome if I do say so myself. It is so awesome to hear how God has worked in peoples lives. When we were finished it was about 2 in the morning and I was like okay I definitely need to be going!! Sooo long story short I ended up getting home around 2:20ish and my dad was waiting for me at the door.

Saturday morning just was not the greatest. Mom told me I was grounded and that I wouldn't be able to do anything for a week. That stunk because that afternoon I had already made plans to go bowling.

BUT hey, to wrap it all up... I know what I did was wrong and that I should have been responsible and called. This whole situation goes to show that I don't truly honor my parents like I'm suppose to. I fail miserably at that.

I'm just thankful to have such a forgiving family. Today I was able to talk to mom about the whole situation and just tell her where I was coming from...but I see more where she is coming from now and know what my responsibilities are even though I am 18 years old

Father, forgive me for claiming to love You when the way I live my life shows no example of it. I ask that you would allow me to truly honor my parents the way you call me to. Allow me to not act so much on the current situations and to think before I speak.

Shoo...

I'm starting to read this book called Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God and I must admit that even only a chapter into it, I can tell it's going to really be challenging. Just pages into the book it tells you to stop reading and to go check out the corresponding videos on the website. The first video is very humbling. After watching it I just found myself praising God. I fell completely on my face and just worshiped God for His creation. I was in complete admiration of my Lord and Savior, my creator. It is completely humbling to think about how big God is and how He created around 350,000,000,000 galaxies but yet I think I'm just the next big thing. I really do take my salvation for granted. I think just because I have accepted Christ in my heart, I'm good to go. In reality, that is nothing without a relationship with God. God calls me His bride and if my life is not showing that I really know Him, I would obey His commands. I can't just walk away and go about my life without first acknowledging His goodness and His creation all around me. It isn't because of anything I have done that allows me to wake up in the morning. That's something I truly just don't even really think about. I have to constantly remind myself that even this next moment of my life is not guaranteed. Thankfully the Lord has blessed me with an amazing church family that has really encouraged me in this area of my life and I can say things such as "Lord willing, I will talk to you soon." or "Lord willing I will see you later." and actually believe it in my heart. I have to remind myself every moment that not a day should go by, not a moment should pass, that my heart and mind and mouth are not occupied with the wonder of God's salvation.

It is my prayer that with just a day into my 18th year of life that God uses me to glorify His name in the lives of everyone I encounter. I yearn for my school to proclaim His name and even my city. I don't want just a community that calls out to God when they are having troubles. God is the almighty creator of everything that we see around us. How can we only trust in Him when things get rough. So many of us, including myself, fall so far when we cling to God only when we need Him but put Him on the back burner when our friends are around or when things are looking good for us. The awesome thing about God is that He is always there! What an encouragement to know!

Father, I pray that you would mold me into the image of you. I ask that you would make me disgusted at the sin in my life. God, I just ask that you would use me for your purpose and yours alone.

Revealed

God has shown me so much these past few months. He has shown me not only the areas in my life that I struggle with, but also the areas that I'm strong in.

He has blessed me with a passion for children and working well with them. I always knew that I would work with them but didn't know how. As I was looking at different colleges and majors, I considered a lot of different options: physical therapy, elementary education, special education, school psychologist, and many others. I have finally come to a conclusion of what I want to do with my life. Within this past week I have felt that God is truly calling me into special education. I have applied to Indiana University Southeast and awaiting my letter back. It would be an answered prayer that I would be accepted and would double major in elementary education and special education. Most people thought I would going to be doing physical therapy, shoo I did for the longest while, but God has really given me the desire and passion to work with special needs children.

One of my weaknesses would be that I don't open myself up enough to God and His will for my life. My entire life I have taken the advice of the people around me instead of seeking God first and searching His Word. I was always so paranoid about failure that I tend to rely on myself instead of God. I think that success comes from me and my good deeds. This is so wrong of me...if I claim to believe that God is sovereign and is in control of everything, yet don't go to Him in prayer and meditation in His word then obviously I don't truly believe it. God has numbered my days, just like he has numbered the hairs on my head and the stars in the sky. When I become paranoid I truly do doubt the sovereignty of God because I don't believe He is capable of controlling my life like I am. In reality, I'm not even close to being capable of controlling my life in the least bit. Thankfully God's precious saving grace has saved me and His spirit has filled my soul. I am positive that he has laid out my life and the events that will occur in it. I need to continually be open to His will.

Father, I want you to be glorified in me. I want my whole life to be dedicated to you. I want you and your will for my life above everything. Send hardships my way, God, if that would make me cling to you more.