God has shown me so much these past few months. He has shown me not only the areas in my life that I struggle with, but also the areas that I'm strong in.
He has blessed me with a passion for children and working well with them. I always knew that I would work with them but didn't know how. As I was looking at different colleges and majors, I considered a lot of different options: physical therapy, elementary education, special education, school psychologist, and many others. I have finally come to a conclusion of what I want to do with my life. Within this past week I have felt that God is truly calling me into special education. I have applied to Indiana University Southeast and awaiting my letter back. It would be an answered prayer that I would be accepted and would double major in elementary education and special education. Most people thought I would going to be doing physical therapy, shoo I did for the longest while, but God has really given me the desire and passion to work with special needs children.
One of my weaknesses would be that I don't open myself up enough to God and His will for my life. My entire life I have taken the advice of the people around me instead of seeking God first and searching His Word. I was always so paranoid about failure that I tend to rely on myself instead of God. I think that success comes from me and my good deeds. This is so wrong of me...if I claim to believe that God is sovereign and is in control of everything, yet don't go to Him in prayer and meditation in His word then obviously I don't truly believe it. God has numbered my days, just like he has numbered the hairs on my head and the stars in the sky. When I become paranoid I truly do doubt the sovereignty of God because I don't believe He is capable of controlling my life like I am. In reality, I'm not even close to being capable of controlling my life in the least bit. Thankfully God's precious saving grace has saved me and His spirit has filled my soul. I am positive that he has laid out my life and the events that will occur in it. I need to continually be open to His will.
Father, I want you to be glorified in me. I want my whole life to be dedicated to you. I want you and your will for my life above everything. Send hardships my way, God, if that would make me cling to you more.
I totally understand where you're coming from here! I have to continually check myself and asking if I'm actually giving all of myself to God. To make sure I'm not hoarding my problems and try to deal with them on my own. I too often find myself acting as if I can deal with things better than God can, when in reality all I'm doing is making one more disaster after another! Well I'm glad to see you on blogspot!
ReplyDelete